15 SIGNS YOUR LOVER'S ONLY AFTER SEX!

Ms. JG of Pasig thinks her boyfriend is only after sex. Her boyfriend is demanding more and more fucking as days go by. She’s asking for tips on how to find out if she’s correct.

I had earlier written a two part-blog on this topic. With your permission, boys and girls, let’s try to help out Ms. JG, and remind all you ladies out there, with these excerpts:

More often than not, he talks about sex. He always injects sex into your conversation, even though it’s unrelated to the topic.

Your boyfriend threatens to break up with you if you won’t give in to his lust, while battering you with the cliché “Kung talagang mahal mo ko, papayag ka sa gusto ko (If you really love me, you’ll make love to me).”

After the first time, he CATEGORICALLY DEMANDS for sex when he’s hot, regardless of your condition or mood or priorities for the day.

For him, all your dates must end up in bed, and there had better be one hell of a reason for him to agree to a postponement.

If there’s no assurance, or possibility, that your date will end in a fuck, you’ll need a miracle to make him agree to go out. Worse, he’ll ask you to take along somebody else instead.

If you refuse his sexual demand, he’s not available or capable of anything else for the rest of the day and suddenly remembers he has something to do or attend to.

He’s colder than ice or more irritable than a pre-menopausal lady in the days following your rejection of his fuck request.

He first asks if you’re alone before he goes to your home.

He wants a schedule of when you’re alone at home, or the days when everybody else in the family will be on holiday or out-of-town trips and will be gone for days.

Even if you say you’re dead tired from work or school, or have something to finish, he’d rather try to turn you on first before asking you what’s up.

He starts getting colder and colder after the first, second or third sexual encounter.

The time he spends with you is getting shorter and shorter. From being his top priority before, he’d rather now be with his gang first than be with you.

His paglalambing (sweetness) – holding your hand, putting an arm around you, giving you a hug every now and then – is vanishing faster than crushed ice.

He has resumed socializing with women without informing you.

Most of all, you’ll start getting word from friends that he has been disowning you as his sweetheart whenever he meets someone new or flirts with other women.

Bottom line, ladies: The moment you see even one of these signs in your man after going to bed with him, confront him. If he can’t give a convincing justification, BREAK OFF with him.

As I’ve written in one of my earliest blogs, in love follow your heart, but use your head. 

                                                               30

WHAT BOYS SHOULD LOOK FOR IN GIRLS!

Reacting to our blog on what should women look for in men, a persona friend asked me: What should men look for in women?

Like us guys, she must also be God-fearing.

She does only what is right. She leads you to the right path, and does whatever she can to keep you on it. She doesn’t influence or push you into doing something illegal or immoral, even if it can give you a ton of money.

For her, God, honor and integrity are more important than anything else, as in.

Remember this, boys: If the girl asks you to do something wrong, she’s a USER, an OPPORTUNIST. She’s not worthy of your love.

She must be MATURED ENOUGH!

She DOESN’T READILY BELIEVE anything relayed to her. She doesn’t prejudge and investigates first before concluding anything. Rumor-mongering is a big ’no-no’ and neither does she mind the business of others.

One of her unwritten rules in Life should be ‘business first before pleasure!‘

She sees to it that she has finished everything that she has to do, like office or school work or her role in family concerns, before having a good time with friends or her boyfriend.

The girl must also be a NATURAL, or one who doesn’t act or pretend as something she’s not – rich but couldn’t even afford a bar of imported chocolate, smart but couldn‘t even speak straight English.

She treats people politely and equally, even if the person is just a messenger or driver or her maid. She’s respectful to everyone, especially to the elderly, and listens to others..

Related to this, she must be HUMBLE AT ALL TIMES.

And it would be a lot SWEETER (not to mention cheaper) if the girl is a good cook. Why?

You earn the privilege of requesting what you want to eat in particular. You get extra special care in your diet while enjoying specially cooked food.

Most of all, the two of you will have MORE PRIVACY, whether she cooks in your place or hers, unlike when you dine out.

If you find a woman with these traits, boys, move Heaven and Earth if you have to just to win her love. Believe me, they’re a rapidly VANISHING BREED!  30

LOVE DOESN'T ALWAYS FOLLOW CASUAL SEX!

Here’s a reminder to all you ladies out there:

Don’t ever have the delusion that a guy will fall in love with you if you readily give in to his sexual demands.

It will be the BIGGEST MISTAKE you’ll ever make.

Sex may be as normal as coffee and donuts in this promiscuous world we live in today. But believe me, girls, a quick and easy fuck IS NOT among the top criteria of us guys in searching for women worthy of true love.

Among others, we will always go for a kind-hearted woman with VALUES.

We prefer women who prioritize God, family and work or profession over guys at any given time. We want ladies with ambition and the initiative to achieve it.

And not girls who don’t even dream of a bright future, or aspire for one but are too lazy to do anything to even move closer to it.

Most of all, us guys will only seriously fall in love, and stick to just one girl, if she is HONEST AND FAITHFUL. This is where easy and instant sex can spoil everything, ladies.

If you’ll have sex with your crush or secret love without any commitment, expect any positive, emotional reaction.

Trust me, his immediate personal concern will be “If she can do it casually with me, there’s no guarantee she’s not the same with others.”

DOUBTS about your DECENCY FOLLOW. When you doubt a woman’s personality, automatically you wouldn’t respect her as much as you should.

There goes your dream of a relationship, a serious relationship.

A girl from Quezon City who once asked me for advice had this rather traumatic experience: Her long-time crush finally asked her out, and she readily agreed without thinking. They ended up fucking without being lovers.  

After that, the guy began avoiding her like a plague.

A personal case I know has this girl from Makati who agreed to a fuck-buddy setup with the man of her dreams, hoping he’d eventually formalize a relationship.

It went on for several months, until the guy started saying he’s getting busier with work. She eventually found out that actually, the guy was preparing for his wedding to another woman.

Bottom line, ladies: What you look for in us guys are basically the same things we look for in you.

Believe me, Sex is only SECONDARY. You’ll NEVER FIND TRUE LOVE if your mindset will be the contrary. 30

WHAT GIRLS SHOULD LOOK FOR IN GUYS!

The daughter of a personal friend has just asked me: What must a girl look for in a man? I gave her five traits.

First and foremost, he must be God-fearing.

He must do only what is RIGHT, and stick to what is right, not WRONG! His Faith in God must be very strong in times of trials and distress.

Trust me, people, Jesus Christ and our Blessed Mother Mary won’t let you down if you’ll leave everything to them. Let me tell you of a very recent example.

A personal friend of mine was in desperate need for cash a few days ago. Failing to raise any, he prayed hard and simply told God ‘Bahala na ho kayo sa akin.’

Just two days after, he met a generous businessman-friend of his by accident. You know what happened?

After pleasantries and without him saying anything about his problem, the businessman gave him an early Christmas gift three times his salary and more than double the amount he needed.

Apart from God-fearing, the guy must be RESPONSIBLE.

He must be HARD-WORKING, and with foresight and ambition. He must know how to SAVE and HANDLE MONEY properly. He grabs every chance for promotion and, more importantly, financial independence.

The guy always thinks and plans for a bright future. He doesn’t stop aiming for success simply because he’s content with what he’s getting.

He’s the man so he should be the one who’ll spend for and take care of you and not the other way around.

The partner you’ll choose must also be SMART.

Not necessarily very smart but smart enough to know and teach you what to do in a particular situation or problem, especially if you won’t be together once you’re lovers.

He’s the man so he must be able to guide you instead of you guiding him.

Amid all these, look for HONESTY and HUMILITY. 

Nothing could be worse than being CHEATED ON or DECEIVED by your lover. It would be DEHUMANIZING, to say the least. Why? You’ll be more like a TOY, whom you’re man can do anything to anytime he likes.

And if you pick a lover who feels and acts like the king of the universe, believe me you’ll never get anywhere.

The two of you WON’T HAVE ANY FRIENDS but yourselves. You will be DESPISED, not loved.  Between you and him, he’s always right and you’re always wrong. You’ll never have PEACE. Promise. 30

PRETTY AND SEXY BUT NO BF, NO SUITORS1

A pretty physician I know has just surprised me with her unexpected request for advice -- how can she attract guys.

She’s in her mid 30s, sexy and tall but is still single. She has had a boyfriend only once, during college, and nobody is even courting her now.

I gave her the following excerpts from my earlier blog on how o attract a man’s attention.

First and foremost, talk like a woman.

Speak softly (but make sure it’s audible) and sweetly whenever you get the chance to talk to him, personally or on the phone.

Speak naturally, no ‘pa-cute’ stuff.  No street or gutter language and talk with sense. In case you’re with a guy but could not  understand or are not familiar with what he’s saying, it’s perfectly alright to ask for clarification.

Men are attracted to honest and candid girls, women who are what they are.  Hypocrites and pretenders are among the biggest turn-offs for guys.

As you talk like a woman, act like a woman.

From the way you walk to how you carry yourself, like the clothes you wear, be sure that you’ll be a complete woman (or babaeng-babae as we say in Pilipino)  from all angles.

In trying to look beautiful don’t overdo yourself, like applying excessive make-up to the point that you’ll look more like a prostitute than an ordinary decent woman.

Learn more about proper behavior or social graces for women when with men. If you have to, browse the Internet, buy books or magazines or ask for tips from friends, preferably older than you.

NEVER BE VULGAR OR INDECENT in any manner whatsoever.

DON’T EVEN THINK of attracting the guy’s attention with sexually provocative clothes or language.

The guy will be drawn to you, yes. But trust me, it will be for LUST and not ADMIRATION. He will approach you only for a possible quick and easy fuck, and not because you’re too beautiful to ignore.

Men will always go for RESPECTABLE and DECENT, even though ordinary-looking, women than pretty but VULGAR and foul-mouthed ladies.

And most of all, be CIVIL not only to your special guy but to everyone.

Never speak ill of others, especially if you’ll only base it on rumors or hearsay. Your common friends or people who know you will be the ones to put in a good word or two about you to him.

And believe me, girls who know how to BEHAVE properly are always a winner for men. Promise. 30

AN OLD WOMAN'S MESSAGE OF LOVE!

I presume most, if not all of us, saw on television the recent story of an old woman who tirelessly searched for her missing husband until he was found.

I hope we all got the message, especially those who have ‘closed their doors’ to Love.

What the old man received was not simply salvation from whatever suffering he went through until he was found and reunited with his wife.

He got something TIMELESS -- GENUINE CARE and CONCERN.

Two PRICELESS jewels for the heart that no amount of money or success could buy, and will never have if he had not fallen in love.

Trust me people, Life will be more meaningful if you’ll have someone to turn to. Among others:

You’ll feel a lot more secure to have someone who is willing to help you in times of trouble, or to listen to your woes and problems if he or she can’t do anything about it.

You’ll find true happiness if there will be someone you can laugh with, cry with or even share Life’s simple pleasures with like good food, a leisurely walk in the park or along the beach or watching the sunset.

You’ll never learn how it is to be special or important if there’s nobody around to care for you when you’re sick; prepare dinner when you arrive home from work or are too tired to do so and boost your morale when you’re down and in doubt.

If you won’t love somebody, no one will be, as an old song goes “on your side when times get rough and friends just can’t be found.”

Making all the money you can and succeeding in life is very important, no question about it.

But consider this, boys and girls:

Money can’t talk and cheer you up when you’re lonely. It can’t administer or watch over you when you’re sick.

Money can’t cook your breakfast or dinner. It won’t look for you, or go to the authorities for help, if you fail to get home. It can’t drive you to the hospital, or call for an ambulance, in case of an emergency.

Neither can it bring you home or to safer grounds when you’re alone in the midst of a typhoon or fire, or any other natural calamity.

Only a loved one can do all these for you.

It’s perfectly alright to have all the money and the success in the world if we can. But if you’re alone at home, EVERYTHING WILL MEAN NOTHING.

You’re just another human being who’s WORTHLESS to everybody without your possessions. 

A situation only a special someone can remedy, and correct. 30

 I presume most, if not all of us, saw on television the recent story of an old woman who tirelessly searched for her missing husband until he was found.

I hope we all got the message, especially those who have ‘closed their doors’ to Love.

What the old man received was not simply salvation from whatever suffering he went through until he was found and reunited with his wife.

He got something TIMELESS -- GENUINE CARE and CONCERN.

Two PRICELESS jewels for the heart that no amount of money or success could buy, and will never have if he had not fallen in love.

Trust me people, Life will be more meaningful if you’ll have someone to turn to. Among others:

You’ll feel a lot more secure to have someone who is willing to help you in times of trouble, or to listen to your woes and problems if he or she can’t do anything about it.

You’ll find true happiness if there will be someone you can laugh with, cry with or even share Life’s simple pleasures with like good food, a leisurely walk in the park or along the beach or watching the sunset.

You’ll never learn how it is to be special or important if there’s nobody around to care for you when you’re sick; prepare dinner when you arrive home from work or are too tired to do so and boost your morale when you’re down and in doubt.

If you won’t love somebody, no one will be, as an old song goes “on your side when times get rough and friends just can’t be found.”

Making all the money you can and succeeding in life is very important, no question about it.

But consider this, boys and girls:

Money can’t talk and cheer you up when you’re lonely. It can’t administer or watch over you when you’re sick.

Money can’t cook your breakfast or dinner. It won’t look for you, or go to the authorities for help, if you fail to get home. It can’t drive you to the hospital, or call for an ambulance, in case of an emergency.

Neither can it bring you home or to safer grounds when you’re alone in the midst of a typhoon or fire, or any other natural calamity.

Only a loved one can do all these for you.

It’s perfectly alright to have all the money and the success in the world if we can. But if you’re alone at home, EVERYTHING WILL MEAN NOTHING.

You’re just another human being who’s WORTHLESS to everybody without your possessions. 

A situation only a special someone can remedy, and correct. 30

RECONCILIATION IS NOT THAT SIMPLE!

A personal friend of mine has just asked me this question: Should she take back her returning ex-boyfriend?

I gave her three situations:

If you don’t love him anymore, DON’T take him back. Over and above anything else, reconciliation should be anchored on love. Not revenge, status symbol, financial need, nothing.

You will be lying to the guy, and to yourself. You will be branded as a user, ‘gold-digger’ and any other synonym one can think of.

If you still love him, but is already in another relationship, THINK VERY, VERY HARD before you even consider talking to your ex-lover about starting all over again.

If you decide to see your ex, BE HONEST to your current and INFORM HIM ABOUT IT. Being FAIR is the least you can do. Actually, it’s the RIGHT thing to do.

If you’re not involved with someone new and is still in love with him, consider these first:

Verify from at least three tried and tested sources if the reason for your breakup has been really stopped, removed or remedied by your ex.

If it’s a third party, they no longer see each other and all communications have ceased. If it’s his vice (s) – gambling, drinking, illegal drugs – he has quit and has started undergoing therapy.

If it’s immaturity, he now thinks and acts his age and has the right priorities in life like finding a job and saving for the future. He carries out his role in the relationship, listens more to you and has learned to admit mistakes.

OBSERVE FIRST before you take him back. I’d recommend at least three months.

If your ex is truly serious in winning you back, it would not be a problem. If he finds it too long, then the reconciliation attempt is a fraud.

Remember, reconciliation is not simply saying ‘yes’ to your former lover. It’s a renewed GAMBLE of your time, feelings, priorities and even your future.

You’ll be the bigger loser, not him! 30

11 SIGNS YOUR BOYFRIEND REALLY LOVES YOU!

This is a re-post as requested by some of our friends from Dubai, Makaii  and Quezon City. I will be coming out with a new blog within the day.

Hey girls, here’s how you can tell if your boyfriend really loves you. Guys, you can pass this to your daughters, sisters, relatives and friends.

Your boyfriend really loves you if:

He continues to be as caring and concerned as the day he started courting you.

If he wants a date but you have to finish something for the office or for school, he won’t insist and will instead volunteer to help in any way he could.

Even if the two of you haven’t gone out for quite sometime.

Whenever you have a problem, at home or at the office, HE DOESN’T DISAPPEAR and is with you ALL THE WAY until it is solved.

He is as worried as you if there is a sick or problematic member of your family.

Not just verbally but through action, like accompanying you and the sick to the doctor or in helping you think of and finding solutions to then problem.

Unless he’ll be tied down to work or other circumstances beyond his control, he sees to it that he brings you home nightly, especially if the weather’s terrible or  you’ll finish late at school or at work.

He is as sweet as ever with you.

He still opens doors for you, pulls your chair whenever you dine out, goes out of the car or the cab first and takes your hand as you follow and patiently waits for you and doesn’t eat ahead if \you arrive late at your date,

He calls or gets in touch with you as often as usual if he's on an out-of-town assignment.

He speaks his mind out when he thinks you’re wrong, not just about your relationship but with anything else. This means he really loves you because he wants you to be a better person.

And he never humiliates you in front of anybody whenever you’re at fault.  

Most of all, as the message of an old song goes, he loves you for what you are, not for what he intends or hopes you to be.

5 QUICK AND EASY WAYS TO A MAN'S HEART!

Hey ladies, here are five quick and easy ways to a man’s heart!

The first and most popular is FOOD!

As I have written in earlier blog, learn how to cook. Buy recipe books of various cuisines, with emphasis on his favorite. Try to create your own variations out of these recipes.

Don’t be shy to ask friends for their own specialties and tips on how to come up with delicious dishes.

And when you’re ready, surprise your man with lunch or dinner at your place, or a packed meal that you can share if you work in the same office.

Trust me, one weakness us guys have is a pleasant surprise.

Next is TOTAL RESPECT! Not just when you’re together but when he’s with friends or associates.

NEVER HUMILIATE HIM in any manner whatsoever, especially in public. Even if you’re more successful professionally, never insult or belittle him when he commits a mistake.

If he’s in a meeting, don’t disturb him with your calls or text messages, unless it’s an emergency. Wait until it’s over, or until he calls you to say he’s done.

Learn to love his FAMILY, and FRIENDS!

Show your concern for them and help if you can whenever there’s a problem, even if your lover is not asking you to. Take note of their special occasions and let them know you remember, even through a simple greeting.

If you do this, his family and friends will be your top supporters for him to remain faithful to you.

Another big turn-on for us guys is a SMART woman.

Keep yourself informed of the latest happenings, not only in the news but in various fields. Whether through books, the Internet, media or friends, NEVER stop learning, especially on topics that he likes.

I personally know a super-rich businessman who puts intellect as the number one qualification he looks for in a woman.

And most of all, keep your POISE and GOOD MANNERS!

Remember, guys fall in love with a girl, not with a woman who looks and acts more like a man than us. We will always go for a chic with a kind heart and proper behavior, regardless of how ordinary-looking she is.

Than for a super beautiful and sexy girl known for rudeness and a pathetic conduct. 30 

SHE'S NOT WORTHY OF YOUR LOVE!

One of our lawyer-friends, whom I’ll call A.S., has just discovered that her girlfriend has been sending and swapping love quotes and messages with her former boyfriend.

 

He’s hurting a lot, but still loves her so much to the point of feeling scared to call it quits and lose her.

 

I say BREAK OFF WITH HER, PRONTO!

 

What she’s doing is NOTHING LESS THAN INFIDELITY!  In or out of bed, infidelity is infidelity regardless of how it was committed!

 

There is no MORAL AND SANE REASON for you to throw away your self-respect and dignity for a DISHONEST woman. That kind of lady does not deserve even a drop of true love from anybody.

 

Think about this: WHAT GOOD will happen if you continue to love her blindly? If you can’t cite any, then why keep her?

 

Personally, I’ll bet you a thousand to one you will LOSE THE RESPECT of family and friends and be branded as a WEAKLING, at the very least.

 

You’re a lawyer. You’re smart and educated. Definitely, you deserve someone BETTER than her. There are thousands out there to choose from!

 

All you have to do is open your eyes WIDER and START LOOKING AROUND!  Believe me, God allowed your discovery of the messages to happen because it’s His way of waking you up.

 

And to help make it easier for you, here are some excerpts from a blog I had written months ago entitled “How to move on after your lover leaves you!”: 

Pray hard for spiritual guidance. Ask the Lord to lead you to where He wants you to go, to what He wants you to do, or to whom He wants you to meet.

Return everything that your former sweetheart has given you. If she won’t accept it, burn it, all of it.

Then, STOP GOING TO, or even passing by, all the places the two of you used to drop by. If you hear your theme song, switch stations or better yet, turn off the radio or the TV.

Enroll in a gym even if you’re not overweight. If you can’t afford it, start jogging or walking several kilometers daily and exercising at home. Push yourself to the limit, until you’re too tired to even think about anything or anybody.

Drown yourself in work. Go on overtime as often as you can. If there are seminars, be the first to volunteer, especially if it could increase your chances for a promotion or pay raise.

You will be too busy to think about her, but will LEARN MORE, and eventually EARN MORE.  Not a bad alternative, right?

Lastly, start going to HOUSES OF CHARITY -- homes for the aged or the disabled, street kids and unwed mothers and orphanages.

You will see a lot more people in far worse conditions than yours but life goes on for them. If they can move on, WHY CAN’T YOU?  30

HOW TO CATCH A CHEATER!

A friend of mine has just asked me: How do you catch a cheating partner?

I immediately cautioned her that before you conclude that he’s cheating on you, be 1001 percent sure that you have been noticing solid signs of dishonesty (I have written an earlier blog on signs of cheating).

If you, have been, then there’s only one thing to do -- DO THE UNEXPECTED!

Try these tips, people! These apply to both boys and girls!

First is the common method, SECRETLY FOLLOW your partner when you’re not supposed to see each other.

Show up at your partner’s place when he or she would least expect it, like early morning or midnight and beyond. If you can’t, call or keep on texting until you get a reply.

If your partner isn’t home, and you don’t have an idea of possible whereabouts DISSECT, as in SCRUTINIZE, every word of whatever alibi he or she will give you.

Do the same thing at your partner’s job, or place of business. Beg off early from work if you have to. Once you’re there, be on the lookout for your partner’s unusual sweetness towards anybody or shocked and dagger-sharp looks by somebody!

If your partner reacts angrily, then he or she is into something NAUGHTY!

When you’re together, ask suddenly for your partner’s mobile phone and scan the text message or phone calls. If your partner’s not hiding anything, then there shouldn’t be any  problem in handing over the phone to you.

If your partner refuses, then he or she is hiding something. Remember, you only hide something if it’s ILLEGAL OR WRONG!

And as I’ve written before, if you find a second phone in your partner which you were never even told about, YOU’RE IN BIG TROUBLE, believe me!

If you notice something new in your partner – clothes, accessories, perfume, gadgets -- ask him or her where it came from. DON’T ACCUSE at once. But verify the details for yourself.

If it’s from a store, go there and see for yourself. If it’s a gift from somebody, ask for the person’s name and the reason. If you know the person, double-check it yourself.

If you don’t, ask your partner to introduce you to that person so that you can express your appreciation too. If your partner reacts angrily, he or she is LYING!

There are more tricks, on a case-to-case basis. Let me just emphasize that LYING, in any form, is CHEATING!

Keep that in mind! 30

DON'T JUST SAY IT, SHOW IT!

A common problem that has always been referred to me, long before I started blogging, is how to convince your sweetheart that you really love him or her.

I always gave a common advice: DON’T JUST SAY IT, SHOW IT!

The old saying “Action speaks louder than words” is the most popular gauge all of us use in deciding whether or not our partner is truly in love with us.

Anyone can say ‘I love you’ a million times to any guy or girl. But if your actions don’t prove your love, that’s NOTHING, as in MEANINGLESS!

Unless you’re dealing with a first-timer in a relationship or a 13-year-old kid who doesn’t have the faintest idea of what real life is all about.

So consider these suggestions, boys and girls:

Make your presence felt as often as possible and be sincerely thoughtful, and concerned.

Call or text your partner as often as you can when you’re not together. Even if only to say ‘I love you, ’ or to remind him or her of lunch or diner time.

Guys, bring her home from work whenever you can. If you can’t, guide her on the safest way to go home and call or text her until she calls back or sends a text that she has arrived at her place.

Manifest the same concern, girls.

You can also surprise your partner at work or at home, and simply say that you missed him or her.

Even if there’s no occasion, buy your partner something he or she likes even if you’re not asked to – food, drinks, something he or she needs at work or at home, anything under the sun.

Believe me, it’s the thought that counts. Not the amount or the brand or anything else.  

As I’ve written in an earlier blog, help your partner if you can whenever there’s a problem at home or at work. If you can’t do anything, remain right beside him or her even if only for moral support.

If your partner’s sick, drop by whenever possible. If you can’t visit, regularly monitor his or her condition.

Be content with your partner’s limitations and handicaps – financially, intellectually, professionally, family concerns or whatever.  Never ask for anything beyond yor partner’s emans or capabilities.

And most of all, always accord him or her all the RESPECT due any other human being in anything, anytime, anywhere.

If you see these manifestations in your partner, reciprocate his or her love and trust me, you’re well on the way to true happiness.

If you don’t, YOU’RE WASTING YOUR TIME! 30 

A WEAKLING FOR A BOYFRIIEND

A reader who asked to be called only as Jamie of Quezon City has just been accepted to a job in London which will pay her more than double of what she’s earning now from her work. She’s the breadwinner of her family.

But her rich businessman-boyfriend doesn’t want her to leave. He has pledged to marry her immediately and to shoulder all the expenses of her family. If she refuses, he’ll break up with her.

Before anything else, let me congratulate Jamie for looking, on her own volition, for an opportunity to provide a better life for her family.

That’s why I’ll say go on with your London job.

You’re doing the right thing in seeking financial independence for your loved ones. In a very simple way, you have shown that you’re not an opportunist.

Without saying a word, you’re proving to your boyfriend that you’re a strong-willed woman living by one of the most important values in life, love of family.

For this, you’re boyfriend should be VERY, VERY PROUD of you.

If he really loves you, he wouldn’t stand in the way of progress for your family. Instead, he should support you as much as he can to achieve that dream so that you can get married as soon as possible.

Your boyfriend’s refusal for you to leave is nothing less than a sign of INSECURITY, regardless of how he puts it. Insecurity is an indication of weak character which, UNCONDITIONALLY, is  a ‘no-no’ FOR EVERY GUY.

You wouldn’t want a weakling for a lifetime partner, would you?

An alternative solution, Jamie, is for you to marry him first before you go. This should wipe out his doubts or fears of a long-distance relationship.

Not to mention the fact that he can afford to visit you to London whenever he’s free to do so.

If your boyfriend still insists on you either stay put and marry him or it’s all over for the two of you, then you had better EVALUATE his character, and your relationship, ALL OVER AGAIN.

Consider this VERY CAREFULLY – If this early, he doesn’t respect or give a damn about your decisions , WHAT MORE will he do when you’re married and legally or morally, he will already have control over you? 30

OLD LOVER OUT, NEW LOVER IN!

A reader who asked to be called only as Ms. WS of Montreal, Quebec, Canada is agonizing over two problems in one.

She has fallen out of love with her sweetheart of six years, and has found a new man. But she can’t think of a way to peacefully break off with the first guy. And her family doesn’t approve of the second guy.

She might even be disowned and disinherited by her family over the second guy, but she feels like fighting for her love.

As to the first problem, Ms. WS, have a heart-to-heart talk with the first guy and calmly tell him straight to the point that you want out of the relationship.

Meet in a public place. Considering the length of time you’ve been together, you can never tell how he will react.

Tell him that you no longer feel anything for him, and that you would be lying to yourself and to him if you’ll continue as sweethearts.

To make it easier for him to accept it, you can add that he had been nice to you so you wouldn’t want to be dishonest with him.

Unless he stubbornly rejects the breakup, I suggest that you don’t say anything about the second guy.  A third party will prick his ego and make it a lot more difficult for him to accept that you want out because you’ve found a better guy than him.

As to the second problem, WS, have a THOROUGH, and I mean inside and out background check, of the second guy before you SERIOUSLY involve yourself with him.

On your own, VERIFY anything and everything he says about himself – from civil status to employment to family to character – with as MANY SOURCES as possible.

Don’t just take his word for it.

I’m sure you know or have heard of cases wherein the girl got pregnant first before she found out that the guy was married.

Or of guys who claimed to be rich businessmen while courting a girl, only to turn out as ordinary employees after luring her to bed on promises of a life of luxury.

Don’t be in a rush to verify anything. Take all the time you need.

If there’s no deception by the second guy, then by all means be serious with him as much as you want to. Especially if you’re a lot happier when you’re with him than with your previous lover.

But if you find out that the second guy has lied to you, BREAK UP with him IMMEDIATELY. If not, NOTHING will stop him from lying to you again and again as the days go by. 30

TORN BETWEEN TWO LOVES!

Our friend, Antonio C. of Manila, is confused, and bewildered.

He thinks he’s in love with a church mate who’s more well-off than him and about to leave for Dubai soon to work. But he can’t propose, scared that he might get hurt.

And before he could muster enough courage to do so, another church mate caught his eye and makes him feel happy when they see each other in their worship.

Now, Antonio doesn’t know what to do.

First, be 100 percent sure of whom you love or care for more. There are two ways to find out.

One is feel deep within you whom do you miss more when she’s not around. Whose absence, especially if unexpected, gives you greater concern?

Second is, with whom are you happier when you see her? On whom is it more difficult to take your eyes off when you’re together at church?

Whoever is your answer to these two questions, she’s the girl you love.

Then, pursue your feeling. Let the girl know you love her. You’ll NEVER KNOW the girl’s true feelings for you unless you try asking her. For all you know, she’s just waiting for you to propose.

If she turns you down, as I’ve written in an earlier blog, consider it as a message that God has a better girl for you.

Keep in mind that there a million more women from which you can choose, and that millions of other guys all over the world have been rejected by women at some point in their lives.

You have NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF if you’ll be turned down. Remember that.

What’s important is prove that you’re a TRUE MAN, you’re MAN ENOUGH, by speaking out your feeling, regardless of what the result will be.

Believe me, YOU WILL NEVER BE AT PEACE unless you let it out. You will also deprive yourself of an opportunity for true happiness if you’ll be tongue-tied.

Just one thing, go for personality and values in choosing whom to offer your love to. It’s perfectly normal for any guy to go for beauty. But trust me, beauty is nothing if she’s the bitch among the bitches.

Not to mention the fact that beauty fades.  30