A personal friend of mine has just asked me this question: Should she take back her returning ex-boyfriend?
I gave her three situations:
If you don’t love him anymore, DON’T take him back. Over and above anything else, reconciliation should be anchored on love. Not revenge, status symbol, financial need, nothing.
You will be lying to the guy, and to yourself. You will be branded as a user, ‘gold-digger’ and any other synonym one can think of.
If you still love him, but is already in another relationship, THINK VERY, VERY HARD before you even consider talking to your ex-lover about starting all over again.
If you decide to see your ex, BE HONEST to your current and INFORM HIM ABOUT IT. Being FAIR is the least you can do. Actually, it’s the RIGHT thing to do.
If you’re not involved with someone new and is still in love with him, consider these first:
Verify from at least three tried and tested sources if the reason for your breakup has been really stopped, removed or remedied by your ex.
If it’s a third party, they no longer see each other and all communications have ceased. If it’s his vice (s) – gambling, drinking, illegal drugs – he has quit and has started undergoing therapy.
If it’s immaturity, he now thinks and acts his age and has the right priorities in life like finding a job and saving for the future. He carries out his role in the relationship, listens more to you and has learned to admit mistakes.
OBSERVE FIRST before you take him back. I’d recommend at least three months.
If your ex is truly serious in winning you back, it would not be a problem. If he finds it too long, then the reconciliation attempt is a fraud.
Remember, reconciliation is not simply saying ‘yes’ to your former lover. It’s a renewed GAMBLE of your time, feelings, priorities and even your future.
You’ll be the bigger loser, not him! 30
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