A female former classmate of mine is torn between two lovers. She already wants to stick to one but does not know how to go about it.
I told her first, choose the guy you love more. She asked, how can she tell who among the two? I gave her four basic sings.
The guy you miss more when he’s not around.
The guy whom you worry more about or care for when he’s sick or late for your date, or simply in fetching you from somewhere.
The guy whom you’re willing to do more for and whatever you can to help solve his problems.
The guy whom you’re happier and relaxed to be with when you’re together, or whom you imagine of more as a husband.
With these criteria, decide PURELY based on feelings. Not on financial security or in pursuit of your interests. I’m not rich, people, but trust me money and material possessions can’t buy true happiness.
You may feel satisfied and secured at first but believe me, in the long run, there will always be an inexplicable void or emptiness regardless of how much you have if there is no love.
And take your time in deciding. As I’ve advised before in an earlier blog, don’t be shy or afraid to consult friends or relatives. They may be seeing other factors that you don’t which could help you make the right choice.
Once you have decided, end your relationship with the other guy as soon as you can. And I mean personally.
The longer you delay it, the more difficult it will be to do.
Most of all, you’ll face greater risks in having either of the two find out the true setup. When this happens, you’ll lose both of them. It will be a lot more painful for you, promise, than to your lovers.
Not to mention the guilt you’ll bear and the peace of mind you’ll lose for the rest of your life. A situation I’m sure none of us would want to be in. 30
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