YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE HAPPY!

A personal friend of mine from Meycauayan in Bulacan, whom I’ll just call Celia, has been getting less than half of his husband’s salary as a seaman since 2003.

Worse, she learned he recently declared to his family that if only she weren’t sick, he would have left her and their kids a long time ago. She confronted him and demanded for a separation.

He didn’t agree. But Celia wants to end the marriage. 

I’m not an advocate of separation, but I couldn’t help but agree with her.

To get a lot less than what you deserve is one thing. But to be insulted with your ailment is another story, especially if you’re living up to your responsibilities to your kids.

In fairness to Celia, she’s a working mom but her kids are consistently among the top students in their classes.

We all deserve respect. No one, not even your spouse, has the right to deprive you of it without any justifiable reason. Especially if the person who’ll disrespect you could not even be on his or her own.

Since her husband is abroad, I strongly suggested that she formally declare with finality to him and his parents her desire for a separation.

I also asked Celia to start talking to a lawyer for the proper division or disposition of their conjugal properties and visitation and other rights to the kids.

But she should see to it that she’ll explain the situation COMPLETELY AND CLEARLY to the children.

I told Celia she should emphasize to the kids that the problem is only between her and their dad, so they should continue respecting and loving him as their father.

It would be difficult at first for the kids, yes. But I added it would better than to continue seeing or hearing them arguing more often than not, even on the phone or through e-mail.

The kids would be confused or depressed, or both. When that happens, I told Celia it would be a lot more painful and tougher on her part.

Ladies, especially housewives, separation should be the last option in any relationship.

But if all your efforts to save it mean NOTHING to your partner, if things are getting worse by the day and other people are already being affected, then it’s time to quit.

Martyrdom is not for anything or everything. One failed relationship doesn’t mean the end of the world.

You deserve to be happy. You have the right to be happy. 30