ANOTHER MAJOR KILLER OF RELATIONSHIPS!

Our friend, Nette Heart of Ilagan, Isabela sent us this very important reminder on another major killer of relationships which is often overlooked:

“When we grow, we cut the nails. So when misunderstandings arise, cut the PRIDE, NOT THE RELATIONSHIP.”

Simple but very wisely said.

Misunderstandings stay because the guilty partner refuses to admit his or her mistake or shortcomings, simply because of FOOLISH PRIDE.

When this happens, the other partner’s love starts to fade. Cracks develop in the relationship and eventually, it’s either a cool-off or a break-up.

All their dreams and ambitions dimming like the sunset. All the minutes and hours, all the days and nights spent together wasted. All the love and concern melting like ice in an empty glass.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. There is NOTHING WRONG in accepting your mistake.

You WON’T DIE. You won’t GO INSANE, GET SICK, wounded or injured. You won’t lose your job, your money, your home or car or personal possessions.

And it WON’T MAKE YOU A LESSER PERSON.

Refusing to admit your mistake and saying sorry for it won’t bring any good to you and the relationship.

You won’t prolong the affair. YOU’LL KILL IT.

On the contrary, admitting your mistake would prove that you’re worth of your partner’s love.

It will show that you’re honest, educated, transparent and in your own little way God-fearing. And most of all, your partner will prove for himself or herself that you really love him or her.

Your partner will realize that you don’t want to hurt him or her and keeping the peace and harmony in your relationship is more important to you than your ego.

Keep your pride high only if you have to, like if your partner is already insulting you and your family or you’re being humiliated, especially in front of others.

But if you have to lower it by admitting you’re wrong, do so without hesitation.

You’ll be the BIGGER LOSER. Not your partner or anyone else. And there will be no one else to blame but YOU. 30

PART 2 : HOW TO SURVIVE TRIALS IN RELATIONSHIPS!

I’m giving way to Villa Vhil’s reaction to our blog on “How to survive trials in relationships.”

Villa said to survive trials, lovers must also:

Sacrifice; find good things in each other; be consistent and trustworthy; respect, trust and find time for each other; think positive and make God the center of the relationship.

Let me just elaborate on a few of these very inspiring words of wisdom.

BOTH LOVERS must sacrifice whenever necessary to save the relationship. Either simultaneously or one at a time. Love is, and must, always be a two-way street. That’s UNCONDITIONAL and NON-NEGOTIABLE.

If one of the lovers refuse to sacrifice even if it’s a must, then that means he or she doesn’t want to save the affair so the other DOESN’T HAVE to do so either.

Being consistent must be encompassing or in everything, from the basics like being as sweet and patient since you started out as lovers to the character he or she saw in you when you first met.

Finding time is a MUST, but need not always be being together.

Finding time must be taken as feeling the presence of your sweetheart as often as possible, physically or not.

So if circumstances are beyond one of the lover’s control, like office deadlines to meet, text messages or a brief phone call can make up for his or her absence.

The receiving partner must be understanding enough to appreciate the effort of the sweetheart-sender. Otherwise, he or she will put a crack on their relationship.

Respect your sweetheart not just because it’s part of good manners and right conduct.

Do it to make your sweetheart feel really special and important to you, that it’s proof of your true love. Trust me, he or she will do nothing less than love you more in return.

And in making God the center of your relationship, do so every single minute of everyday. He is the BEST ADVISER both of you can turn to in times of trouble.

It’s HE, not the two of you, who will have the FINAL DECISION, on your relationship.

Thanks, Villa.  30  

HOW TO SURVIVE TRIALS IN RELATIONSHIPS!

Trials in relationships start when one of the partners gets attracted to someone else.

The common reasons are money, looks, social or professional status and character.

To immediately wipe out the attraction once it starts, both partners must immediately practice two things: DIALOGUE and MUTUAL ASSISTANCE.

If you get attracted to another person who is richer or earns more and faster than your sweetheart, bring it up with your partner as soon as possible.

NOT THE ATTRACTION itself. You’ll most likely kill your affair on the spot.

Talk to your lover CASUALLY about your dreams in life, zeroing in on items you’ve always wanted to have. DON’T DEMAND.  Acknowledge his or her financial limitations.

Then discuss how you can help him or her earn more.

But n the process, BE CONTENT with what your lover has and LIVE WITHIN the means of both of you.

For looks, imagine what had attracted you to the other person and suggest to your sweetheart to try it out. Simply say that you think it will make him or her handsomer or prettier.

Your sweetheart should listen and give it a shot. Extend assistance if you can, financial or referrals. But be sure to understand his or her physical limitations and don’t have unrealistic expectations.

For social or professional status, help your sweetheart achieve success in his or her job or profession.

Refer clients or customers.

Guide and assist your lover in his or her office work for the best presentation or performance possible for recognition by the bosses and possible promotion.

If you know influential people or entrepreneurs who can give your sweetheart a better-paying and professionally rewarding job, or would be interested in financing or promoting his or her ideas, introduce them to each other as soon as possible.

And don’t forget to extend moral support whenever necessary.

When it comes to character, tell your sweetheart what turns you off the moment you get interested in somebody else. Don’t hesitate to suggest on what changes you would prefer.  It’s your right as the lover.

If your sweetheart won’t listen to any of these or you’ll still be attracted to another person, then BE TRUE to yourself.

Reveal everything to your sweetheart and call for a cool-off, or end the relationship altogether. DON’T CHEAT. Attraction to another person is NEVER A PASS for cheating. 30

 

IF HE LOVES YOU, HE WON'T HIDE ANYTHING!

One of our young readers, whom I’ll call MS. K, is confused about her boyfriend’s true intentions.

She says she had broken up with him several times but either the guy threatens to kill himself or runs to their mutual friends to beg for assistance until she takes him back.

But here’s the catch -- In good times, he had BLOCKED HER form his Facebook account NOT JUST ONCE, BUT TWICE.

For reasons thin enough for even a computer-literate grade school kid to find unbelievable. So MS. K is wondering if her boyfriend really loves her or not.

Without thinking, I replied DEFINITELY NOT. And I immediately added the guy only wants sex, or has not feasted on her body long enough to his satisfaction.

If your boyfriend or partner really loves you, girls, HE WILL NEVER HIDE anything from you.

If he doesn’t want you to see the people he’s interacting or socializing with, in Facebook or anywhere else, 99 percent he has another girl apart from you.

Or he’s courting or flirting with someone else.

Love is not love WITHOUT HONESTY. That’s UNCONDITIONAL and NON-NEGOTIABLE. If he really loves you, he will never fool you or conceal anything from you.

If he blocks you from anything, there’s definitely something unforgivable behind it and enough to make you break up with him pronto the moment you see it.

A guy who really loves you WILL NEVER HURT you.

But if he disrespects and treats you like a CRIMIINAL by blocking you from the people he moves around with, you’re not his lover as far as he’s concerned.

That’s EXPLOITATION. You’re not his lover. You’re just another girl whom he’ll treat the way he wants to anytime he feels like it.

And if he refuses a breakup, that could only mean HE HASN’T HAD ENOUGH yet of  what he’s getting from you – sex, money, connections or influence, luxuries, you name it, he’s after it.

To prolong the relationship would be your BIGGEST MISTAKE. You’ll need nothing less than a psychiatrist.

What about the suicide threat? As actor Clint Eastwood said in one of his movies, “Go ahead, make my day.”

Remember this, girls: OPPORTUNISTS or USERS will never kill themselves.  They wouldn’t want to miss opportunities. 30

YES, TRUE LOVE DOES EXIST!

Commenting on our blog “When You Look For True Love,” Annabelle Salegumba of Mandaluyong asked: Is there really true love?

Yes, Annabelle, THERE CERTAINLY IS.

The proof may not be as many as we would want them to be but we sure will find true love whenever we will look around. Be it among the young and the old, the rich and the poor or the healthy and the sick.

There are still scores of couples in their 60s and 70s who are still together. Golden (50 years) and silver (25 years) wedding anniversaries are still common.

A popular singer-composer who is a super-rich businessman in his own right has been married to the same woman for the last 40 years or so.  

I personally know a couple from Dasmarinas Village in Makati who have been married for some 35 years but still travel and  enjoy unwinding together.

Visit squatter or informal settler communities anywhere and there will surely be couples who hardly eat three meals a day but are as sweet and happy as other partners would want to be.

And if you watch television often, you most likely have seen blind or other physically handicapped people being faithfully cared for by their spouses through the years.

True love comes in various ways and forms.

Manifestations which will NEVER BE APPLICABLE to all but otherwise prove that anyone can love truly in his or her own way.

If your relationship doesn’t work out, it doesn’t follow that true love does not exist.

When true love comes, nourish it like your body and protect it like your life.

Do whatever has to be done and put in all the necessary ingredients -- trust, understanding, loyalty, the works -- to keep affection burning.

No matter how deep and sincere it is, true love is NOT IMMUNE from death by NATURAL CAUSES like negligence and infidelity.

Remember, true love doesn’t come everyday. It’s up to you, and only you, on how to keep and preserve it.

If you’ll take it for granted, just be sure you can accept and endure the consequences once it exits your life. 30

WHEN YOU LOOK FOR TRUE LOVE...

As I had stated when I started LOVEPOST, I would be happy to accommodate articles from readers as our blog for the day.

So tonight, I give way to this very timely and inspiring commentary from one of our readers who asked to be called only as MS. W of OzamIz.

Consider every line, boys and girls. It applies to everyone, everywhere all over the world.

                                                                        ***

When you look for true love:

Find someone who isn't afraid to admit they miss you.

Someone who knows you're not perfect, but treats you as if you are.

Someone whose biggest fear is losing you.

Someone who wouldn't mind staring at your wrinkles, gray hair or shapeless body, and fall in love with you all over again.

Someone who will not take you for granted.

Someone who will love you not for the thickness of your wallet or the value of your gift.

Love is about two hearts, yours and your partner’s.

It’s not about other people's hearts or their opinions. A lover listens, but also has the right to speak his or her mind out. 

Please the one you love, not the people around him or her like friends or relatives. They're just bit players in your love story. 30

NEVER PLAY WITH YOUR ADMIRER'S FEELINGS!

A word of caution, boys and girls:

NEVER, EVER play with the feelings of your suitor or admirer. Not for any reason whatsoever.

You either love the person or you don’t. No ifs or buts. No in-betweens. You start a relationship because that’s what you feel like doing. This is, and should always be UNCONDITIONAL.

And not just out of curiosity, exploitation, fun or any other reason. I’m making this reminder because of two things I had just learned about two personal friends of mine, a guy and a girl.  

The girl, who used to make fun of some of her suitors and boyfriends, is pregnant and has been abandoned by her lover.

The guy, who never had less than two girlfriends at any given time, apart from fuck buddies, has been kicked out of his job and unemployed for almost six months now.

That’s what you call KARMA, boys and girls.

Trust me, KARMA IS REAL. You’ll pay for hurting for making a fool out of the feelings of others. It will come at a time and manner that you’ll never expect.

Apart form karma, you will DESTROY YOUR REPUTATION if you make a fool of people who love you.

Once the deception or the ‘game’ ends, the other person will surely voice out what you’ve done to his or her own friends or family.

All of whom will be your brand-new enemies.

Brand-new enemies who will spread the word that you’re a liar, manipulator, opportunist, ‘gold digger,’ and every other nasty image they can paint about you.

A person who is not worthy of anyone’s true love.

In the end, no one will respect you. No one will believe in you. You will be ALONE, FRIENDLESS and worse, LOVELESS.

A situation none of us would want to be in.

Remember, boys and girls, you won’t get anything good out of making idiots out of your suitors or admirers.

You will be despised, not praised. You won’t be popular, you’ll be hated. And most of all, God won’t reward you. He will penalize you.

The choice is yours. 30

HOW TO MINIMIZE, IF NOT REMOVE, JEALOUSY!

Here’s a very simple way to tone down or minimize, if not remove,  jealousy and reduce senseless lovers’ quarrels:

Just ask yourself two questions – What good will you get out of it and is there a reason for it?

We all know that jealousy is not always justified.

Some get jealous over an innocent stare by his or her lover at an attractive dude or chic. Some flare up at the mere mention by the partner of his or her ex when they’re together.

Others raise hell even over a lengthy friendly chat or casual sweetness by his or her partner with a member of the opposite sex. So before you react under these or other similar circumstances, ask yourself first “What good will it bring to me and to our affair?”

I’ll answer for you: NOTHING, AS IN NONE.

Instead, you and your lover will get into a misunderstanding or a spat. He or she will be unhappy, and eventually disappointed over your distrust.

The affair then gets shaky, and your partner will start entertaining thoughts about looking for a more understanding and rational lover.

In the end, YOU LOSE, and the not the object of your jealousy.

To avoid this, don’t be impulsive. Unless you see a VERY VALID REASON with your own eyes to be jealous, DON’T BE.

A reason as valid as your lover and the other person kissing torridly, in heavy petting or fucking; you being relegated to the background, if not totally ignored, while they talk of almost anything; your faults or imperfections being compared to the other person’s assets and virtues and your partner accepting and replying to calls or messages from the other person without your knowledge.

And all these apply to both former lovers or ‘friends’ of your sweetheart.

Other than these, don’t destroy the peace and harmony between you and your lover with senseless jealousy.

As I’ve written before, jealousy kills an affair.

Trust, peace and harmony preserves and strengthens the relationship to the altar, and throughout your lifetime. 30

IF HE'S NOT CONCERNED, HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU!!

One of our readers from Binan, Laguna is asking for enlightenment on whether or not her boyfriend really loves her.

She has a cyst that needs to be examined immediately but she still needs to save for it. She has mentioned this to her businessman boyfriend but he hasn’t done anything to help her.

He wouldn’t even bring her to the doctor, or ask one of his staff to accompany her for a thorough examination.

So I bluntly told her: He doesn’t love. He only wants sex.

Remember this, girls: If your lover is not concerned about you, HE DOESN’T LOVE YOU. He’s just EXPLOITING YOU. Concern automatically goes with love.

That should be UNCONDITIONAL. And he’s really concerned about you:

If he looks after you when you’re sick. He visits and watches over you for as often and as long as possible, and takes the initiative in buying or helping you with your medicine and food.

If you need a check-up, he volunteers to accompany you whenever he’s available or incessantly prods you to see your doctor as soon as possible even if he’s not around.

If you need financial assistance and he can afford it, he won’t have second thoughts in helping you.

If he never leaves your side whenever there’s a problem.

If he thinks he can help solve it, he’ll act on his own without you asking him. If he can’t do anything, he’ll still be beside you even if only for moral support.

If he acts to help you achieve your goals or ambitions, even if you’re not asking for assistance.

If he never fails to remind you of things you should do, for your job or taking your medicine and eating on time, if you’re not together.

If he’s consistent in advising you on what to avoid or what you shouldn’t get into because it might get you into trouble.

If the priority in the relationship is what’s good for you, and not what he wants from you.

If he asks you to stay put wherever you are until he arrives if the weather is terrible or it’s too late for you to go home alone. If he can’t make it due to circumstances beyond his control, he’ll teach you what to do call you constantly until you’re home safe.

You have found Mr. Right if this is how your lover treats and values you.

But if what is happening is the opposite – if he has time, and money, for what he wants from you but none for what you need, even for your health; if you’re on your own in times of distress but he’s there if he wants to fuck -- then you’re in VERY DEEP TROUBLE.

You’re not his sweetheart. You’re just a sex toy, or a substitute for whatever if his true girlfriend, his true love, can’t be with him.

Time to PRESERVE YOUR DIGNITY and GET THE HELL OUT OF THAT AFFAIR.  30

HOW TO AVOID TEMPTATION!

Another common concern of lovers everywhere is how to avoid temptation.

Loneliness and disappointment are two of the most common reasons why lovers succumb to temptation.

So whenever you miss your lover call or text or chat, especially if he or she is out-of-town or in another country for work or on business.

Keep a picture or any souvenir from your sweetheart in your wallet or bag, or even in the pendant of your necklace.

Whenever you’re disappointed or frustrated with your lover, don’t keep it to yourself. Speak your mind out and settle the issue immediately.

Whoever is at fault, work on or remedy the disappointment as early as possible to avoid any dent in the relationship.

Never compare your lover unnecessarily to others. Either way, it will only create a gap between the two of you.

For the guy, he might take the comparison as a manifestation of the girl’s dissatisfaction with him and trigger a desire to look for somebody more appreciative of his limitations.

For the girl, wittingly or unwittingly, it might prompt her to take a closer look at the other guy.

When a guy makes a pass at you, or a girl teases or propositions you, respond at once by saying that you already have a lover and is happy with him or her.

Once you get attracted to a member of the opposite, sex, avoid that person like a plague whenever you can.

Unless it’s work related or an emergency, never be alone with that person even for coffee or an innocent chat.

And as I always recommend, engage in productive, and possibly new activities to ease loneliness or boredom especially for long distance relationships.

And never forget to PRAY. 30

THE RIGHT WAY TO ACCEPT REJECTION!

Reacting to our blog on “How to get over a rejection,” a personal friend of mine from Quezon City asked how, then, must one take a rejection?

I replied with the following, emphasizing that these apply to both guys turned down by the girls of their dreams and to women totally ignored or rejected outright by the Adam of their eyes:

Rejection is A WAKE-UP CALL, for YOUR OWN GOOD.

It’s a revelation that you have faults or imperfections serious enough to be UNACCEPTABLE to others which you must correct or, if necessary, remove immediately.

Or it’s a REMINDER that you had not been attending to these faults or imperfections even though you’re aware of it.

And let’s not forget the age-old cliché that it’s God’s way of saying He has somebody a lot better that your beloved.

Either way, there can only be one result –you will be a BETTER and STRONGER PERSON with the realizations that will be brought about by the rejection.

That’s why there’s no sane reason for you not to eat or sleep or to cry 24 hours a day in the bedroom, or even think of killing yourself if you fail to win the heart of your beloved.

Tell me, what good will you get out of it?

Will you be prettier or handsomer? Will you get rich, or richer? Will you be famous, or more popular than before? Will you gain any form of power? Will you solve the family’s problems? Will you make other people happy?

I’ll bet a year’s paycheck that you’ll only have one answer -- a big fat ‘NO.’

And for emphasis, you won’t solve the family’s problems. Instead, you’ll add up to it. Neither will your parents or siblings, or friends, be happy in seeing you destroy or kill yourself over an unrequited love.

Think about it. Think really hard, and deep, about it.

As I often say, rejection is not the end of the world for you even though you love the other person more than your life. There are a million others out there.

Let the Great Matchmaker in Heaven choose the best for you. 30

HOW TO GET OVER A REJECTION!

To be rejected by the man she loves is one of the toughest experiences a woman can suffer. Getting over it isn’t that easy either, to some anyway.

I hope these suggestions will help:

Lock yourself up in your room and keep repeating in your mind that he’s NOT the only guy left in the world, that there are a thousand more out there much better than him.

In all honesty, ask yourself what could have he not liked with you. Examine yourself INSIDE AND OUT. Guys don’t just go for looks but more importantly, for PERSONALITY.  Believe me.

Some of the most common turn offs for guys include:

You’re a PRETENDER – you speak and act like a rich kid even if you’re not. You talk in straight English even if it’s filled with grammatical errors.

You lack poise. You talk, walk, move and dress up more like a man than a girl.

You’re too mataray or suplada (snobbish and condescending).

You’re too talkative.

You’re too conceited and a credit grabber. You boast that you’re very good in everything even if you’re not asked about it. You claim to be a part of, if not behind, every accomplishment or wise decision of people associated to or under you at work.

You have poor social graces.

You interrupt in conversations even if you’re not part of it, or asked for your opinion. You lack proper table manners.

If you think you need to consult close friends, don’t be shy to do so. They will understand, if they’re your true friends.

Once you’ve drawn up your faults and imperfections, put your heart and soul into correcting them.

If necessary and if you can, spend time and money on books, related websites, dermatologists, beauty parlors, the gym and others which can help you achieve your goal.

While doing all these sacrifices, condition your mind to the thought that you’ll show him what he had lost in rejecting or ignoring you.

  

And continue socializing with and meeting new men. But appreciate them as they are, and not what your dream guy is. While waiting for your next, prospective Mr. Right, keep yourself busy and productive.

At work, push yourself to the limit until you’re rewarded and recognized for your effort.  And as I’ve written in an earlier blog, explore new activities or hobbies like Church and charity work. The busier you are, the less you get to think of him.

Bottom line: The best person who can help you is YOURSELF.  30

PART 2: HE'S ONLY AFTER SEX IF...

A reader from Bacolod who asked not to be named requested for a sequel after she read our blog “He’s only after sex if ….”

Here goes:

Your boyfriend threatens to break up with you if you won’t give in to his lust, while battering you with the cliché “Kung talagang mahal mo ko, papayag ka sa gusto ko (If you really love me, you’ll make love to me).”

After the first time, he now CATEGORICALLY DEMANDS for sex when he’s hot, regardless of your condition or mood or their priorities for that day.

Related to this, he requires you to begin learning more about sex. I personally know of such a case guys, promise.

He starts openly or vocally admiring other women even in your presence. If you protest, he raises hell.

He starts getting colder and colder after the first, second or third sexual encounter.

The time he spends with you is getting shorter and shorter following the sex. From being his top priority before, he’d rather be with his barkada (gang) now first than with you.

If there’s no assurance, or possibility, that your date will end in a fuck again, you’ll need a miracle to make him agree to go out.

Worse, he’ll ask you to take along somebody else instead.

His paglalambing (sweetness) – holding your hand, putting an arm around you, giving you a hug every now and then – is vanishing faster than crushed ice.

He now does whatever he wants even if he knows you don’t like it, and he had initially pledged not to do it.

He has resumed socializing with women without informing you.

Most of all, you’ll start getting word from friends that he has been disowning you as his sweetheart whenever he meets someone new or flirts with other women.

Bottom line, ladies: The moment you see even one of these signs in your man after going to bed with him, confront him.

If he can’t give a convincing justification, BREAK OFF with him.

As I’ve written in one of my earliest blogs, in love follow your heart, but use your head. 30

HE SAYS HIS EX NEEDS HELP BUT ...

Reacting to our blog “Never be insecure about his ex,” a personal friend of mine from Quezon City raised this situation:

Her boyfriend has informed her that he wants to help his former girlfriend solve a problem that he is in a very good position to deal with.

Her questions: Should she allow him? How can she know if he’s telling the truth?

For the first question, I say yes, allow him.

First, it’s solid proof of your trust and love to your boyfriend. Only an insane man would not appreciate that gesture.

Second, in your own little way, you get to help even if indirectly, somebody in distress. You gain a new friend in the former girl and draw yourself a lot closer not only to your boyfriend but most of all, to God.

That’s one of the things the Lord wants from us, remember?

Now, to know if he’s lying, which is also a query of our reader Doreen Coriana of Chicago, Illinois, USA:

First, ask him, eye-to-eye, to take you along when he talks to his former sweetheart about the problem. If he immediately agrees, eye-to-eye, that’s a sign of being honest.

If he vehemently refuses and comes up with all sorts of reasons, he’s lying, through his teeth.

Next, ask ALL THE DETAILS about the problem and how he intends to help. If he readily and casually talks, he’s being honest.

But still, THINK VERY CAREFULLY of the logic or veracity of whatever details he’ll reveal. If you think a friend would know better, don’t hesitate to call for assistance or added information.

If your boyfriend’s story jibes with what you’ve concluded on your own and have found out from friends, then he’s telling the truth.

But if he won’t say anything about what’s up, or has a very thin justification of why him, then he’s lying.

If he refuses to talk by picking on your conscience with the cliché “don’t you trust me,” SOMETHING’S DEFINITELY NOT RIGHT.

Better start thinking hard if he’s still worthy of your love. 30

NEVER BE INSECURE ABOUT HIS EX!

Another critical but often overlooked aspect of love affairs is insecurity by the girl over her lover’s ex-partner.

And I strongly recommend that NEVER BE INSECURE about her.

Insecurity, first and foremost, is a sign of character and emotional weakness and lack of self-confidence.

It’s us guys who are supposed to be tough, first. But believe me, we would always prefer women who are just as strong-willed, or can be stronger, than us.

A woman who could stand by and help him instead of being an added headache or burden. Never mind if she isn’t as pretty or sexy as the weaker ones.  

Second, insecurity breeds mistrust and makes you judgmental.

Wittingly or unwittingly, you question your man like a suspected criminal. Before you know it, you’re quarreling as if you’re at war, for no sensible reason.

Depression and disappointment then creeps into the guy. End result, the love is diminished and the relationship dented.

You lose, and not your lover’s ex or the object of your insecurity.

Third, you’ll be torturing yourself senselessly.

It’s you who won’t be at peace, not the ex. It’s you who will be always tense, sleepless, out of focus or whatever. And you’ll be dead wrong if you’ll expect your guy to love and pity you more.

On the contrary, YOU’LL TURN HIM OFF. Believe me!

Instead of being insecure, or jealous, show you’re guy that you truly love him by giving him your full trust.

Assure him, verbally and through action, that you’re happy with his love and nothing and one can take that away from both of you. Not even his ex.

Keep in mind that it’s you who have him now, no longer the ex. And the only thing left for you to do is treasure and cherish the affair forit to blossom forever.

Do this and your lover won’t even dream of looking for someone else. Believe me.  30

HOW TO REMAIN FAITHFUL!

Another age-old problem when it comes to relationships is how to be faithful, especially if one of the lovers is far, far away.

You might want to consider these suggestions:

Make it a point to have CONSISTENT DIALOGUE between the two of you, as in always.

Infidelity begins to develop when one of the partners starts getting turned off by the other. Two of the most common causes are frustration and deception.

How do you avoid or remedy frustration?

Ask your partner for a dialogue and pour your heart out. Spare no words in revealing and explaining what it is that turns you off and why or how are you frustrated by it.

For all you know, your partner is not aware of your sentiments. If he or she will need your help to appease you – for example like earning more money --   do so, without any hesitation.

Once remedied, all’s well that ends well.

If you meet new members of the opposite sex, declare outright that you’re happily married or engaged or in a relationship.

The moment your new acquaintance starts making passes or propositions you, say it straight to his or her face that you’re not interested. Then, cut all contacts.

If the persistence continues, have your spouse or partner confront him or her at the very first opportunity.

 If your partner or spouse is in a distant province or another country, find new interests or engage in new activities to ease boredom or loneliness.

One alternative I’ll strongly suggest is Church and charity work.

With Church and charity work, you kill two birds with one stone – you get closer to God while you help your fellowmen. Not bad, eh.

Lack of sex being one of the most common causes of long-distance partnerships, don’t even think of watching or reading sexually explicit stuff when you’re alone at night.

Related to this, avoid like a plague friends who invite you out specifically to meet new members of the opposite sex. They’re not friends. They’re sinners trying to recruit you into Hell.

Remember, a wrong is NEVER CORRECTED by another wrong.

And most of all, PRAY! Pray hard, day and night if you can, for spiritual and emotional strength.   With prayer, no devil or temptation can win. Trust me. 30