BEING 'TORPE' WON'T GET YOU ANYWHERE!

A reminder to all you boys out there: NEVER BE TORPE (tongue-tied) when it comes to Love.

It won’t get you anywhere, as in nowhere.

Once you fall in love with a girl, you want to know if she loves you too. But YOU’LL NEVER find out, for certain, if she loves you too or not unless you tell her.

Despite the widespread promiscuity or liberalism nowadays, there are still women who won’t give any sign to a guy that she loves him too until he starts talking, FIRST.

There are still women who want to be courted or wooed like a princes and cared for like a baby.

If the guy won’t talk, or will take too long to do so, she won’t have a problem entertaining the more gutsy ones. If she falls in love with someone else, that’s it for you.

YOU LOSE, not her or another guy.

Now, the common reason for being tongue-tied is fear of rejection. Valid, yes. Not easy to take, I agree.

But think about these, boys:

First, it won’t do you any good to keep your love a secret forever. Anybody can correct me if I’m wrong.

Second, she’s not the only woman left in this world. Not all the millions of ladies out there will reject you.

Third, women have different standards or likes and dislikes in choosing a lover. If a woman turns you down because you’re not good-looking enough, there are other girls who prefer kid-hearted or responsible guys instead of mere handsome hunks.

Fourth, if she’s not for you, God wants to give you somebody better. Someone you’re more compatible and will be truly happy with for life. Trust me, gentlemen. 

Unless you want to become a priest, loving a woman is a lifetime gamble boys. You either win or lose, and not just lose.

Keep that in mind, please. 30

SHE'S NOT A 'MATERIAL GIRL' IF...

A common concern of men worldwide when it comes to women is whether or not she is a 'material girl' or after only what his money can give her.

If this is how she carries on with the relationship, she is NOT a material girl, and absolutely DESERVING, of your love and loyalty:

On your dates, she doesn’t require expensive restaurants or bars or other fun places to go to. She is content with what you can afford, and is vocal about it.

If you want to go out but are low on budget, she would help you think or even suggest what to do or where to go just to enjoy being together.

She cautions you against excessive spending, on your dates and on her or for yourself, especially your vices if there’s any.

Instead, she encourages you to save.

On special occasions, she just waits for your gift and doesn’t demand anything in particular.

She will request for something in particular only if you ask her to, but would immediately add only if you can afford it. Neither will she ask for any gift for any member of her family.

In ordinary times, she hardly asks you to buy anything for her especially if it’s only a luxury. If ever she does but you don’t have the money for it, she just takes it with a smile.

She doesn’t ask anything about your financial details, like your business or your salary.

She doesn’t change even if you’re going through a financial crisis. She remains as sweet, loving and supportive as ever, and would help you find ways to get over with it.

I personally know of one case wherein a girl from Manila won’t even take the call of or reply to the text messages of the guy after he lost his job.

There was also this girl from Quezon City who won’t even respond to the ‘paglalambing’ of the guy when he could no longer pay for most of her expenses like he used to.

Lastly, the girl always reminds you to spend for your needs or those of your family members first before hers.

If you have this type of girl for a sweetheart, NEVER, EVER let her go. Marry her once you’re ready.

It would be the BIGGEST MISTAKE of your life if you won’t. 30

HOW TO CATCH A LIAR!

Deception is another worldwide concern when it comes to love and relationships.

Whether it’s still in the courtship stage or the first days of the affair, all of us want to know as early as possible if the other person or our partner is a liar or not.

I hope these tips could help:

If your suitor pr partner claims to be a rich kid, the clothes should at least be of good quality and branded. He or she should be a student or graduate of a known school for wealthy or financially above-average children.

If you’re a graduate of that school or are familiar with it’s surroundings, you can test that person by asking questions about it.

That person should at least be aware of known hangouts or fun places wealthy people usually go to. He or she doesn’t speak street language.

The skin is soft and smooth, free from signs of overwork like wrinkles and visible veins.

If that person claims to be a businessman or corporate executive, ask questions about the nature of the business or the company. 

It would be best f you’ll ask questions which you also know the answers to.

If he or she claims to be a professional, talk about the job.  

Legal matters if he or she claims to be a lawyer, signs and symptoms of diseases if a doctor, basics of media work if a reporter or editor, position and place of assignment if a policeman or law enforcer, the exact scope of work if an engineer or a architect and other relevant concerns.

If that person is for real, there should be no problem for him or her to look at you straight in the eye while answering casually.

If you’re just talking over the phone, there should be no hesitation or stammering as he or she replies to your questions or reacts to your statements.

If you’re not convinced, verify his or her claims yourself.

Call the supposed employer. Double-check the answers to your queries with people you know who are in the same profession or field that he or she claims to be in.

Bottom line:  Check out the other person first, before you fall too deep in love with hi or her.

Remember, it’s YOU WHO WILL BE HURT, not him or her. 30

WHY ACCEPTANCE IS IMPORTANT IN LOVE!

A personal friend of mine was asked by her friend what is Acceptance in loving, and how important is it.

First of all, Acceptance is not simply saying you love the other person too and will now start an affair with him or her.

When you say you accept and love somebody, you take on that person for what he or she is. As an old song goes, not for what you want him or her to be, first.

Whether or not she’s from the poorest of the poor, a child born out of wedlock, a drunkard or chain smoker, a gambler, unschooled or an undergraduate, from a broken home and whatever else one can think of.

You enter into a relationship with that person without first waiting for these vices or, shall we say unusual, situations to disappear or be remedied. That is Acceptance.

Once the affair starts, that’s the time you can try helping that person remove the vices by whatever means possible.  Being the partner, you have all the right to do so.

In the case of poverty or being a bastard child, KEEP IN MIND that it’s NOT YOUR LOVER’S FAULT, that he or she did not choose to be born poor or out of wedlock, or have a broken family.

And if you really accept your lover for what he or she is, you will be content with and live up to the limitations or abnormalities in life brought about by his or her social status.  If necessary, you will adjust and sacrifice.

That is ACCEPTANCE.

Scores of people worldwide overlook these realities of acceptance when they enter into a relationship, or even marriage.

Some start living beyond the means provided by their partners. Others get fed up with their lover’s vices or low IQs. Arguments and fights erupt ad eventually, the relationship ends, on unpleasant terms.

NOBODY WINS.

Bottom line, boys and girls: Before you start out with anybody, be 1001 percent sure that you are realty accepting the other person, as in you can live with anything and everything that will follow.

If you think you have to, consult other people first – your parents or siblings, relatives. close friends, parish priest or whoever you consider as your spiritual adviser.

Otherwise, DON’T WASTE YOUR TIME!

Remember, IT’S YOU who will have a miserable love life or married life. Not your brother or sister, your best friend, or even your neighbor. 30

HOW TO AVOID LOVERS' QUARRELS!

One of the most common causes of lover’s quarrels is distrust.  

The best, and simplest, way to avoid this is LEARN TO LISTEN to each other before making conclusions on any issue.

There will always be times when one of you will do something unexpectedly without having to ask permission first from your partner, since there’s nothing wrong about it.

Like having coffee with a friend whom you run into again after several years, buying an item in the mall which is too cheap to ignore or dropping by the church or the supermarket on your way home.

Try to understand first the reason behind the issue you and your partner are discussing about. If there’s nothing illegal or immoral, if your partner had not been unfaithful, then there’s nothing to argue about.

There will also be times when your partner will do something without explaining to you first, like going to the department store to buy your favorite CD or perfume to surprise you.

LOVE WITHOUT UNDERSTANDING ISN’T LOVE.

Understanding is the key to a TWO-WAY RELATIONSHIP, which is how any affair should UNCONDITIONALLY be.

If you’re not totally convinced by the explanation, check it out YOURSELF or consider all factors, like traffic or how reasonable was the time spent, before concluding anything.

But NEVER, EVER PREJUDGE your partner. No one wants to be called a liar, even by INSINUATION.

In loving, it’s either you trust your partner or you don’t. No ifs or buts. Even if the relationship is in the proverbial ‘second chance’ status.

Without trust, there will never be peace in your relationship.  

Like what I’ve written before in an earlier blog, a relationship without trust isn’t a relationship. It’s a DICTATORSHIP. 30

HOW TO PLEASE A WOMAN!

For this blog, I have included some tips from a post by our friend and group mate Marissa Lizares, a councilor in Negros Occidental.

                                                           ***

Pleasing their girlfriends or spouses has been an age-old problem for men all over the world.

These tricks will definitely help:

Make your presence felt round-the-clock. Call, text or chat with her as often and as long as you could. Even if you’re out of town or abroad.

Surprise her every now and then with a visit or with whatever gift or souvenir you can think of. The item need not be expensive. Even flowers will do.

For your girl, it’s the thought that will count.

Listen, and I mean listen, whenever she talks.

Laugh or smile to her jokes. Sympathize and comfort her in moments of depression. Advice her if you could on how to get over it.

As I had written in an earlier blog, join her in solving a problem, even if only for companionship and moral support.

Praise and congratulate her for her achievements. Compliment her for the way she looks and how she carries herself, especially in front of other people.

But be an achiever yourself. Work your butt out to succeed and achieve something,  no matter how modest it may be. Women ONLY go for men with ambition and initiative. Keep that in mind.

Once in a while, wine and dine her out to the best places you can afford. It’s always exciting for women to have good food and try out new restaurants or bars every now and then.

The more it makes them feel really special and important.

Be genuinely interested in her loved ones. Not just family members and relatives but her friends as well. As the saying goes, if you really love a girl, you’ll also love everybody she loves.

Throughout all these, DON’T FORGET to hold her. Whenever possible, romance her. Shower her with kisses. Make her feel your love with your tight hug.

Cuddle with her even for a few minutes before the day ends.

Do these, gentlemen, and your girl won’t even bother taking a good look at another guy. Leaving you would be the last thing she’ll do for as long as she lives.

Promise.30

HOW TO ATTRACT A MAN'S ATTENTION!

Another common dilemma faced by girls every now and then all over the world is how to attract a man’s attention, for possible courtship that is.

Here are some simple but commonly overlooked tricks:

First and foremost, talk like a woman.

Speak softly (but make sure it’s audible) and sweetly whenever you get the chance to talk to him, personally or on the phone.

Speak naturally, no ‘pa-cute’ stuff.  No street or gutter language and talk with sense. In case you don’t understand or are not familiar with what he’s saying, it’s perfectly alright to ask for clarification or what is the topic all about.

Men are attracted to honest and candid girls, women who are what they are.  Hypocrites and pretenders are among the biggest turn-offs to guys.

As you talk like a woman, act like a woman.

From the way you walk to how you carry yourself, like the clothes you wear, be sure that you’ll be a complete woman (or babaeng-babae as we say in Pilipino)  from all angles.

In trying to look beautiful don’t overdo yourself, like applying excessive make-up to the point that you’ll look more like a prostitute than an ordinary decent woman.

Learn more about proper behavior or social graces for women when with men. If you have to, browse the Internet or buy a book on etiquette.

NEVER BE VULGAR OR INDECENT in any manner whatsoever.

DON’T EVEN THINK of attracting the guy’s attention with sexually provocative clothes or language.

The guy will be drawn to you, yes.

Bur trust me, it will be for LUST and not ADMIRATION. He will approach you only for a possible quick and easy fuck, and not because you’re too beautiful to ignore.

Men will always go for RESPECTABLE and DECENT, even though ordinary-looking, women than pretty but VULGAR and foul-mouthed ladies.

And most of all, be CIVIL not only to him but to everyone.

Never speak ill of others, especially if you’ll only base it on rumors or hearsay. Even if you’re not with him, your common friends or people who know you will be the ones to put in a good word or two about you to him.

And believe me, girls who know how to BEHAVE properly are always a winner for men. Promise. 30

10 SIGNS THAT YOU'RE IN LOVE!

Another commonly asked question is how can you tell if you’re in love.

Here are 10 signs:

You get to think of the other person every now and then throughout the day for various reasons.

You want to see, or better yet be with the other person than anyone else, as often as possible. For you, the day isn’t complete without being with talking to him or her even for just a few minutes.

You’re more concerned with his or her safety than anyone else’s in times of trouble or calamities like riots or typhoons.

You’re more worried with displeasing or turning him or her off in any manner whatsoever than anyone else.

You’re interested with anything and everything about him or her, from favorites and likes and dislikes to family members and family background.

You want to give these favorites to him or her even if there’s no occasion or reason to, and follow the likes and dislikes even if you’re not requested to, just to attract attention.

His or her safety and well-being is always in your prayers.

Compared to others you go all out, as in all the way, in helping solve or ease his or her problems even if you’re not asked to.

On your own free will, you defend him or her against anything and anybody as much as you could.

You begin to imagine and daydream how it would be like if he or she were your sweetheart, or better yet spouse. 30

HOW TO MOVE ON AFTER AN AFFAIR PART 2!

Here are some more tips on how to move on after an affair:

Be active in your parish church. Join church organizations and activities like charity work.  This way, you get closer to God while you help others in your own little way.

Similarly, join other socio-civic organizations if you get the opportunity to like the Rotary Club.

Start your own business even if you don’t need the money, or the potential income is loose change compared to what you make in the office.

Discover or develop your other talents like singing or dancing.  Do this whenever you start getting depressed over the past, or are simply bored with nothing else to do.

And who knows, your other talents might open new doors for you with regular practice.

Start playing your favorite sport regularly, and push yourself to the limit. Read and learn more about it to enhance your skill.

Go out with friends more often than before, BUT NOT to the point of endangering your health.

Welcome new acquaintances, especially admirers, for what they are, and not based on the pain you’re suffering or the skepticism that it had triggered in your mind.

New faces, new friends and renewed interest in people will make it a lot easier for you to forget.

Make up for lost time with the family when you and your ex were still together.  Join them more often in outings or bonding moments. Go all out in helping solve family problems.

If you have the budget, go to places you’ve never been to, locally or abroad. New surroundings to explore and new things to learn are also very good medicines against loneliness.

And as I’ve written I an earlier blog, PRAY. Pray hard for spiritual strength and guidance.

Believe me, God WILL LISTEN! 30

SHE HAS AN AFFAIR WITH HER BOSS!

Sarah25 of Makati is single and having an affair with her married boss.  She wants to end it but she needs her job. Her boss has made it clear that once it’s over for them, everything else she gets stops.

Here’s how to go about it, Sarah25:

First, go on leave for as long as you can. Give all the possible reasons you can think of.

Then, use the leave to look for a new job.  Browse the Web daily, call or visit friends, go over the classified ads section of all the newspapers you can get hold of or inquire from friends or governments on what small business you can start with your savings.

Once you learn or stumble on something, grab it.  No matter how small or insignificant it may be.

Keep in mind that you need to start anew, and need every opportunity and peso you can earn from other sources. Devote your time and energy to make it grow as fast as you can.

Ask for suggestions or recommendations from relatives and friends if you have to. And as you do all these, pray daily. Pray hard for guidance and spiritual strength.

In the process, SAVE, SAVE, SAVE! Condition your mind that you are about to lose, and must live without, whatever perks or extras you enjoy from your boss.

Meanwhile, start distancing yourself from your boss.  Again, come up with all possible, and logical alibis – you’re sick or feeling sick, there’s a family problem you need to attend to personally, there’s a special occasion which requires your presence, everything.

Avoid or minimize all contacts with your boss as much as possible.

Once your venture starts earning the barest minimum you need to survive, END THE AFFAIR and RESIGN from your job.

But don’t tell the real reason behind the sudden changes in your lifestyle, and outlook in life.  There’s no reason to. Preserve your dignity in the eyes of others!

30

IT'S RESPONSIBILITY, NOT GOOD LOOKS, THAT COUNTS!

Here’s a reminder to you ladies when it comes to guys and relationships:

Don’t just go for good looks or thick wallets in choosing your lover. Look for a man who’s responsible enough to carry out his role in a relationship, or better yet a future partnership

A man who takes you home from the office or school, or from wherever you’ll be, especially if it’s late at night and a typhoon’s raging or your location’s a known risky area.

If he has to, he will wait for you without complaints or questions.

On your way home, he’s always on the danger side and you on the safe side when you’re crossing the street or walking on a sidewalk or alley.

When you’re sick, he’s beside you as often and as long as possible. He doesn’t mind buying your medicine or feeding you, or helping you attend to a sick family member.

When you’re on a date, he’s the one who spends for everything, not you. And take the date as an opportunity to test how responsible he is as a man and an individual.

Even if he has enough or more than enough money, he should be a WISE SPENDER.

He won’t empty his wallet on items which are too expensive and extravagant for his and your financial status. He should have the maturity or wisdom to explain to you why, and the will or backbone to reject you whatever you say.

He’s turning you down not just because he wants to, but because HE’S SAVING for your future as a couple.

That’s not just a responsible guy. As we say in the vernacular, IYON ANG TUNAY NA LALAKI!

And as I’ve written in an earlier blog, the guy must respect you in every possible way, because respect is a part of responsibility in a relationship.

It’s the guy’s responsibility to treat you not just as a lover but also as a human being, especially in front of other people. The man’s role is to look after your well-being -- physically, mentally, emotionally, socially.

Not your humiliation and destruction.

Some will say that looks and brains, and financial stability, are also big factors to consider in entering into a relationship. I totally agree.

But think about this, girls: looks and brains are useless if your man does not know how to use and keep them, properly. Money will run out if he’s not responsible enough in handling it.

If this will be the case, what will you do? Where do you think will you end up?

Think about it. Think really hard about it. 30

SWEETNESS DOES NOT ALWAYS MEAN LOVE!

I'm only posting now, guys, because my computer was down from late morning until after dinner tonight. My apologies.

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Lourdes Macatangay of Japan has a female friend who thought she already had a mutual understanding with a guy whom she had met only in the Internet.

After chatting and exchanging sweet phone calls for sometime, the guy stopped calling. Lourdes’ friend is confused and requesting for enlightenment.

First of all, sweetness DOESN’T ALWAYS MEAN LOVE!

Some people are born naturally sweet. For them, a friendly hug or buzz on the cheek doesn’t mean anything else.

They never forget to greet friends on birthdays and special occasions like Christmas. They express concern when a friend is sick and extends help whenever they could to those with problems.

There are those who call or chat with particular people almost everyday. For some women, they even go out on dates with guys who are not their boyfriends.

But all these are NOTHING MORE than manifestations of friendship.

They enjoy the company of friends, that’s why they spend time and effort in chatting or talking to them over the phone.  For them, friends are special so they’re concerned about them when there’s reason to be.

But it doesn’t automatically follow that it’s Love and not just friendship.

Remember this, boys and girls:

NEVER ASSUME that you and another person are lovers UNLESS you both agree, PERSONALLY, to be so.

Erroneous assumption will result to nothing else but PAIN OR DISAPPOINTMENT, for which you’ll have nobody else to blame but yourself.

If you have a feeling for somebody, and think that both of you are already into something unofficial, GET IT STRAIGHT from the other person.

Unless it’s official or formal, DON’T EXPECT anything. Don’t let your feelings overwhelm you. IT’S YOU who will get hurt, not the other person. It’s only you who will be on the LOSING END.

Everyone keep this in mind, please! 30

11 MORE SIGNS OF CHEATING!

A long-time female friend of mine who has bee noticing changes in her husband requested for some more signs of cheating.

I gave her the following:

Your partner’s going on overtime work a lot more often than usual, and instructs you to go home ahead instead of asking if you can wait for him or her.

If you’re living together, your partner’s too tired to even talk to you or eat when he or she gets home.

Unexpected, emergency meetings, usually outside the office, are steadily increasing, even on weekends.

The same thing with out-of-town assignments.

Your partner’s starting to hide his or her mobile phone from your view for no clear reason.

Unlike before when you can freely listen to everything, your partner now moves away from you first before answering some calls.

Your partner’s getting unusually sweeter towards another person for no clear reason, to the point of arguing with you whenever you say something negative about that guy or girl.

Your partner’s beginning to leave home or the office without notifying you or leaving word with anybody on his or her destination and purpose.

Unlike before, your partner’s starting to forget special occasions in your family.

Your partner immediately goes into a rage whenever you try to check on his or her belongings, especially the mobile phone, without asking for permission.

If you’re leaving together, fuel expenses for the car are on the rise even though it hasn’t been regularly used lately for long drives.

As I’ve advised before, confront your partner the moment you see any of these signs. If you don’t get any convincing explanation, end the relationship on the spot.

If you don’t, see your psychiatrist.  30

SONGS OF UNDYING LOVE!

Three personal friends of mine requested for more love lines which express deep, undying love for one’s lover.

So here are excerpts from three of the most romantic songs of the 80s and 60s’:

From Jose Mari Chan’s “”My Girl, My Woman, My Friend”:

You’re my girl, my woman, my friend,

And that’s how it’s gonna be till the end,

Loving you is what I live for, and I can’t ask for anything more,

You’re my woman, my girl and my friend, rolled into one.

From Johnny Mathis’ “All The Time”:

I want you with me all the time,

Sunrise and sunset and all the time,

You are the one love, I am living for,

 Had we just begun love, could I love you more.

From Beth del Rosario”s “Pagibig Sa Tag-Araw”:

Pagibig na singinit ng tagaraw,

Suminag sa puso ko at pumukaw,

Parang apoy na lubhang pumapaso,

Init ay nadarama ng buung-buo.

Check out and try to learn these songs, boys and girls. Ten is to one, your partner will love you more. Promise . 30

MONEY ISN'T EVERYTHING IN LOVING!

Times are getting harder, with survival as the name of the game.

So let me remind you, boys and girls, of something: NEVER ENTER into a relationship JUST FOR THE MONEY. You WILL NEVER be TRULY HAPPY. Promise!

No question about it, money can buy you what you want. What you have always wanted to have in life.

Expensive clothes and perfumes, top-of-the-line mobile phones, jewelry, a house and lot, even a car from lovers with money to burn.

Rich lovers can treat you to the best and most expensive restaurants and hotels, pay for your bills and the needs of your family, the works.

But at the end of the day, you’ll still feel that something’s lacking. Whatever your lover gave you, and has given you, your desire for more material things gets stronger and stronger.

You’re never satisfied. You’re restless, NEVER AT PEACE!

As this is happening, you will steadily lose the respect of your family and friends.

Time will come when you will be avoided like a plague because of what you’re doing, while family members, relatives and friends will start looking down on you.

We’ve all heard of the adjective “mukhang pera iyan,” haven’t we?

Then, you’ll really fall head-over-heels in love with somebody. But IT WILL NOT BE EASY to convince everyone that you have changed. Trust me!

You don’t have to please everybody? Correct. But who wouldn’t want to have more people respecting him or her than not?  Magpakatutoo kayo!

Most of all, and this you had better stick to your head boys and girls, relationships for the money NEVER LAST LONG!

Worst, the spending partner will eventually DEHUMANIZE YOU in one way or another – treat you more as a secretary or maid, scold and humiliate you like a dog anywhere you are at your slightest mistake, dictate every move you’ll make like a robot, demand for sex anytime, as if it’s your obligation to him or her.

MONEY ISN'T EVERYTHING in loving. Think about it, SERIOUSLY! 30.

LOVE WITHOUT RESPECT IS NOT LOVE!

Let me remind you, boys and girls, of a very critical fact to consider in loving:

If your partner really loves you, he or she will RESPECT you!  Here are five common but often overlooked signs everyone should watch out for: 

If your partner really loves you, he or she will never shame or humiliate you in any manner anywhere and in front of anybody. 

Whatever mistake you committed will be discussed by both of you in private. And that mistake will stay with the two of you if your partner really respects your privacy, and dignity.

Your partner will never say anything bad about you, especially your imperfections, in front of others.

Your partner really loves you if you could give your opinion if you want to, and follows it if it’s the better option. That is a manifestation not only of respect but also of how important are you to him or her. 

If your partner asks you to shut up even before you could open your mouth, you’re not into a relationship. You’re in a dictatorship. You’re not a sweetheart, you’re a puppet.

When it comes to looks, your partner doesn’t object to whatever you want to wear or makes you comfortable when you’re together. 

Unless it’s inappropriate, like you want to wear walking shorts to a wedding both of you will attend.

If your partner doesn’t respect your choice of clothes, or   accessories and wants to dictate what you should put on, you’re nothing but a life-sized Barbie doll or mannequin to him or her.

Better find out if your partner’s gay or not. 

Most of all, if your partner really loves you, he or she will NEVER REVEAL OR SPREAD details of your intimate moments, especially your sexual encounters, to anyone.

He or she will NEVER VIDEOTAPE your lovemaking, and show it after to friends.

True love is treating you as the most precious and treasured person to keep in your lives, and not as a special commodity for public consumption.

If you’re into any of these five situations, better end the relationship. Fast! If you won’t, time for you to visit your psychologist, if not psychiatrist!  30

MAKING A LONG-DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP WORK!

Our friend, Weng Saldi of Montreal, Quenec, Canada is curious about how to keep a long-distance relationship burning with love.

Long-distance relationships end usually because one of the partners missed the other too much that his or her attention was caught by somebody else’s.

If you want your long-distance relationship to work and last, consider the following:

As I always say, pray. Pray for guidance on how you can keep the relationship burning, and spiritual strength to keep your eyes to yourself.

ALWAYS, and I mean ALWAYS, make your presence FELT.

Text your partner at least once a day, even if only to say “I love you” and have been missing him or her a lot. Better yet, chat with your partner just as frequent through the Internet, whether at home or at the Net shop, if you can.

Loneliness and longing are IMMEASURABLY eased by regular communication. More importantly, it reassures your partner of your love, that it’s or her you’re waiting for and no one else.

So keep your mobile phones and other communication lines open 24 hours a day.  You can never tell when your partner will make a surprise call.

If you have the time, and the money, surprise your partner with something from your end  even once in a while. Let me suggest – his or her favorite foodstuff or sweets or personal care needs if they’re cheaper from your end. It’s not the item but the thoughtfulness which will count.

To further endear you to your lover, check on his or her loved ones regularly.

Take your partner’s place in the family. Greet and join them in their special occasions, or simply n their moments of longing for your partner.

Help voluntarily in any way you can with their problems.

Refer them to the right connections if you know any or accompany them to people and places they have to go to in addressing the situation.

Not only will your partner love you more, you‘ll solidly win the family over to your side and make life with them easier for you.

Just one thing:  DON’T BE OVERLY POSSESSIVE OR INSECURE with your partner while he or she’s away. Everything you do will be meaningless and USELESS.

You will only be digging up the grave for your relationship. 30

11 SIGNS YOUR BOYFRIEND REALLY LOVES YOU!

Hey girls, here’s how you can tell if your boyfriend really loves you. Guys, you can pass this to your daughters, sisters, relatives and friends.

Your boyfriend really loves you if:

He continues to be as caring and concerned as the day he started courting you.

If he wants a date but you have to finish something for the office or for school, he won’t insist and will instead volunteer to help in any way he could.

Even if the two of you haven’t gone out for quite sometime.

Whenever you have a problem, at home or at the office, HE DOESN’T DISAPPEAR and is with you ALL THE WAY until it is solved.

He is as worried as you if there is a sick or problematic member of your family.

Not just verbally but through action, like accompanying you and the sick to the doctor or in helping you think of and finding solutions to then problem.

Unless he’ll be tied down to work or other circumstances beyond his control, he sees to it that he brings you home nightly, especially if the  weather’s terrible or  you’ll finish late at school or at work.

He is as sweet as ever with you.

He still opens doors for you, pulls your chair whenever you dine out, goes out of the car or the cab first and takes your hand as you follow and patiently waits for you and doesn’t eat ahead if \you arrive late at your date,

He calls or gets in touch with you as often as usual if he's on an out-of-town assignment.

He speaks his mind out when he thinks you’re wrong, not just about your relationship but with anything else. This means he really loves you because he wants you to be a better person.

And he never humiliates you in front of anybody whenever you’re at fault.  

Most of all, as the message of an old song goes, he loves you for what you are, not for what he intends or hopes you to be.  30

LOVE LETTERS CAN HELP KEEP THE LOVE ALIVE!

There is a very simple way which can immensely help keep the love between you and your sweetheart, or spouse, burning.

Don’t stop sending love letters, or love notes, to each other.

With love letters, you are saying “I love you” to your sweetheart or spouse day and night even if you’re not together. Or have not talked to each other for days.

How come? Love letters are specifically about the love you have for each other, expressed in various ways like sweet nothings, your dreams as a couple, or concerns for each other.

In other words, love letters specifically for the heart, the origin and the bull’s eye of Love.

Next to video, love letters are the best means for you to talk to your loved one, especially if you’ve been missed for months or  years like overseas Filipino workers.

You’re speaking to your sweetheart or spouse with love letters.

It helps reassure your partner that your love is undying, and that he or she is, and will always be as special to you since you started out together or got married.

Which will result to NOTHING LESS than a MORE STABLE AND STRONGER RELATIONSHIP, or married life.

The status WE ALL WANT with our partners. Right?

Love letters don’t have to be lengthy. Even a short note is already a love letter in its own right. It’s not the length that matters. It’s the thought.

And if you think love letters are only for the courtship sage or the early days of the relationship, no offense meant but you’re DEAD WRONG.

Love letters should be with you, and your partner, forever. Trust me, it works.

Love letters can immeasurably help keep a relationship ALIVE, and STRONGER, a task which takes a lifetime to finish. 30

HOW TO MOVE ON AFTER YOUR LOVER LEAVES YOU!

Another, age-old universal question about Love is how do you move on if your sweetheart, or spouse, leaves you for another guy or woman?

Like in any trial, the very first thing you should do is pray.

Pray hard for spiritual guidance on how can you forget your former partner as fast as you can.

Ask the Lord to lead you to where He wants you to go, to what He wants you to do, or to whom He wants you to meet. If you pray hard enough He will lead you, believe me.

As you turn to prayer, return everything, and I mean everything, that your former sweetheart has given you, no matter how insignificant it may be.

If your ex won’t accept it, burn it, all of it.

Then, STOP GOING TO, or even passing by, all the places the two of you used to drop by. If you have to, ask around for new routes to your destinations if these places are along the way.

If you hear your theme song as sweethearts or songs you both like, switch stations or better yet, turn off the radio or the TV.

It’s a lot, lot faster to forget an ex if there’s absolutely nothing to remind you of him or her.

After that comes the fun part. I say fun because the following will also be a big help for you to forget while boosting your physical, mental and believe it or not,  spiritual stamina.

For the physical, enroll in a gym even if you’re not overweight.

If you can’t afford it, start jogging or walking several kilometers daily and exercising at home. Push yourself to the limit, until you feel too tired to even think about anything or anybody.

You grow stronger, and get to think of your ex less and less.

Now, with a strong body comes a strong mind. You’ll be able to think faster, and sharper. Use this to your advantage at the office.

Drown yourself in work. Go on overtime as often as your boss would allow you to or take home the tasks which you didn’t finish after your shift.

If there are seminars or out-of-town trips, be the first to volunteer and go without hesitation if you’re chosen, especially if it could increase your chances for a promotion or pay raise.

You will be too busy to think about him or her, but will LEARN MORE, and eventually EARN MORE. 

Not a bad alternative, right?

Last, but definitely not the least, start going to HOUSES OF CHARITY -- homes for the aged or the disabled, street kids and unwed mothers; orphanages and even charity wards of hospitals.

A visit to these places will show you that despite the loneliness you feel, there are a lot of people who are in a far worse condition than yours.

And yet, life goes on for them. Believe me, you yourself will FULLY REALIZE at that point that if they can move on, WHY CAN’T YOU?  30