A personal, female friend of mine, whom I shall call only as Tammy, has this big crush on a close friend’s boyfriend. Her problem is her close friend has just asked her to keep him company (read: guwardiyahan ) when she leaves for a business trip next week.
She doesn’t want to disappoint her friend. But more importantly, she wouldn’t want to betray her either if things get too close for comfort between her and the boyfriend.
This is what I advised her:
Beg off. Cite every reason you can think of in turning down the favor while not offending your close friend at the same time.
Tell your friend you’ll be too busy with office work in the coming days that there would be no time for you to spend with her boyfriend. If that won’t be enough, point to your household chores or things you regularly do for your parents or siblings.
I told Tammy she can also recommend other mutual friends to look after the boyfriend.
If the boyfriend calls or asks her out, I asked Tammy to reject it. I said she can avoid the boyfriend by not taking his calls or rot replying to his text messages. Or she can spend a lot more time than usual with friends and her family.
At work, I told Tammy to join any officemate who passes by the same route as hers in going home, so that she’ll have an excuse to turn down the boyfriend in case he unexpectedly drops by and offers her a ride to her residence.
It shouldn’t be too difficult, I emphasized to Tammy, since her friend would be away for only two weeks or so.
If the boyfriend insists on asking her out despite these excuses, I told Tammy it could only mean that he doesn’t really love her close friend and she had better warn her about it when she comes home.
Without pre-judging him or giving any conclusions of her own.
I commended Tammy for being a true friend, like she has always been to me, to her close friend. I would like to think that there are still a lot more like her. 30
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