BEFORE YOU RECONCILE WITH YOUR EX...

Another common question about Love is: Should I take back a returning lover?

Reconciliation is not simply saying ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to your former lover. It’s a renewed GAMBLE of your time, feelings, priorities and even your future.

So before you reconcile with a former lover:

Verify from at least three tried and tested sources if the reason for your breakup has been really stopped, removed or remedied by your ex.

If it’s a third party, they no longer indeed see each other and all communications have ceased. If it’s a vice (s) – gambling, drinking, illegal drugs – your former partner has quit and has started undergoing therapy.

If it’s sheer immaturity, your ex now thinks and acts like his or her age and has the right priorities in life like finding a job and saving for the future.

If it’s irresponsibility, your ex now carries out his or her role in the relationship. If it used to be a one-way affair, he or she now listens more and has learned to admit mistakes.

Once you have verified that your ex-partner has acted on or corrected the reasons behind the split, OBSERVE FIRST before you take him or her back.

Start going out with him or her again to see it for yourself.

But give the observation period considerable time – I’d recommend at least three months -- before you give your precious ‘yes’ for the second time.

If your ex is truly serious in winning you back, it would not be a problem. If it’s too long, then the reconciliation attempt is a fraud. Better not waste your time and emotions again.

And as you observe your former lover, examine yourself deeply if the feeling is still there.

Ask yourself: Are you as happy as before whenever you’re together? Are you still concerned whenever he or she is not around or is late in coming to you? Are you as patient and understanding as you had always been? Are you as blind as you used to be to the opposite sex?

If your answer to all of these questions is an unconditional ‘yes,’ then the reconciliation is worth a try. If it’s a ‘no’ to even one, think a million times first before taking him or her back.

And I mean every letter of it. 30