OLD LOVER OUT, NEW LOVER IN!

A reader who asked to be called only as Ms. WS of Montreal, Quebec, Canada is agonizing over two problems in one.

She has fallen out of love with her sweetheart of six years, and has found a new man. But she can’t think of a way to peacefully break off with the first guy. And her family doesn’t approve of the second guy.

She might even be disowned and disinherited by her family over the second guy, but she feels like fighting for her love.

As to the first problem, Ms. WS, have a heart-to-heart talk with the first guy and calmly tell him straight to the point that you want out of the relationship.

Meet in a public place. Considering the length of time you’ve been together, you can never tell how he will react.

Tell him that you no longer feel anything for him, and that you would be lying to yourself and to him if you’ll continue as sweethearts.

To make it easier for him to accept it, you can add that he had been nice to you so you wouldn’t want to be dishonest with him.

Unless he stubbornly rejects the breakup, I suggest that you don’t say anything about the second guy.  A third party will prick his ego and make it a lot more difficult for him to accept that you want out because you’ve found a better guy than him.

As to the second problem, WS, have a THOROUGH, and I mean inside and out background check, of the second guy before you SERIOUSLY involve yourself with him.

On your own, VERIFY anything and everything he says about himself – from civil status to employment to family to character – with as MANY SOURCES as possible.

Don’t just take his word for it.

I’m sure you know or have heard of cases wherein the girl got pregnant first before she found out that the guy was married.

Or of guys who claimed to be rich businessmen while courting a girl, only to turn out as ordinary employees after luring her to bed on promises of a life of luxury.

Don’t be in a rush to verify anything. Take all the time you need.

If there’s no deception by the second guy, then by all means be serious with him as much as you want to. Especially if you’re a lot happier when you’re with him than with your previous lover.

But if you find out that the second guy has lied to you, BREAK UP with him IMMEDIATELY. If not, NOTHING will stop him from lying to you again and again as the days go by. 30