ENGAGED BUT FALLING FOR ANOTHER MAN!

Lorelei of Manila is torn between two lovers.

Sir Boyet:

I’m engaged to be married next year to my boyfriend.  He is a junior executive in a Makati firm who often has to go out of town as part of his job. I’m an administrative staff member in a different Makati   company.

My problem started when we had an office night-out in mid-April and my boyfriend couldn’t accompany me because of his work.

This officemate of mine, in fairness well-mannered and a true gentleman, cheered me up for the night. We hit it off quite well that I agreed to let him drive me home.

After that, we got closer and closer to each other. We became regular lunch partners, textmates chat buddies, everything that you can think of. Later on, that moved up to innocent joyrides or window shopping or whatever, whenever my boyfriend can’t see me.

Now, I’m beginning to fall for him. I know it because even if I am or will be with my boyfriend, I’m starting to miss him if he’s not in the office, or doesn’t text or call me.

I still love my boyfriend I feel more and more that my day isn’t complete if my officemate is not around. Please advise me.  I’m confused, to the max.

MY COMMENT

Thanks for your trust.

The first thing you have to do is go on leave for a couple of days and think really hard, alone. You have to be alone because you can’t think rationally if your officemate is around.

Ask yourself what attracts you to your officemate so much.

Once you determine what it is, the next questions should be don’t you find it in your boyfriend? If not, what could be the reason? Can you ask it from him?

A common reason for attraction is the person sees good traits, which his or her lover doesn’t have, in a third party.  If you think you can talk your boyfriend into practicing what attracts you to your officemate, then do it.

Don’t be shy to ask him. If he really loves you, he’ll listen. Don’t tell him about   your officemate.

In the process, talk to or be with your boyfriend more often than your officemate. Text, call or chat with him as long as you could. As you do this, star reducing the time you spend with your officemate. Doing more work than you should would be a very good excuse.

If your attraction or longing for your officemate starts dying down once your boyfriend practices the traits you asked of him, especially if he finds more time for you, then that should settle the issue.

If the attraction to your officemate remains as intense despite your boyfriend’s efforts, then you’re in BIG TROUBLE.

And will have to make a BIGGER DECISION, fast. In effect, you will be cheating on your boyfriend already, whether or not there’s something between you and your officemate.

That will be a TOTALLY UNJUSTIFIABLE FOUL, with ending up the relationship as the only morel redemption possible. 30