A close, female friend of mine from Las Pinas wants to end her five-year affair with her boyfrined but doesn’t know how to, without hurting him, and her., too much.
Before anything else, let’s keep in mind that nine out of 10 serious affairs are usually long-running and deeply set in the hearts and minds of both partners.
So I don’t recommend, and have never recommended, abrupt split-ups, especially if the reason is a third party. You can never tell how the other partner will react, either on you or to himself or herself.
To get out of an affair, one has to personally start by asking his or her partner for a cool-off period, the main reason being to think things over since the relationship seems to be going nowhere.
This is to help prepare both of you psychologically for the separation.
Do it personally, but as civilly and politely as possible. But be firm about it, whether he or she likes it or not. And be CONSISTENT too, cool off as in no contacts, no dates, NO NOTHING.
In your solitude, take a MUCH CLOSER look at your partner’s faults and your incompatibilities, especially those which had triggered the most number of quarrels or misunderstandings that you’ve had, and continue to have.
Then, ask yourself: “Will I really be happy despite all these?”
While assessing your partner, start socializing more often than usual, ALONE.
Make a lot of new friends, especially those from the opposite sex. Once somebody arouses your interest, have a good look, up close and personal, and compare that person with your partner.
Should that person manifest an equal interest in you, grab the opportunity to know him/her better.
Even if you don’t start out with a new partner, but still gets more interested with something else like a new hobby or activity than your lover, then it’s time to formalize the breakup.
Just be sure you’ll part ways peacefully. DON’T FORGET to thank him/her for all the loving and caring you were showered with when you were together.
Most of all, wish each other all the happiness in the days to come. 30
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